"I'm more than my undocumented status": Jorge Xolalpa on making films and not letting DACA define him
Jorge Xolalpa is refusing all of the labels thrown at him and transforming cinema in the process.
Jorge Xolalpa is the cool filmmaker you wish you already knew about. His films challenge your assumptions of the world and of how films are supposed to be made today. He lives lawlessly, breaking the rules of cinema and the kinds of stories we tell.
After recently describing how he fears “losing hope” if DACA is not reinstated, we knew we wanted to have a candid conversation with Xolalpa about the personal costs of losing DACA in this country.
We are running Xolalpa’s interview across two different installments of La Cuenta. His journey is a powerful one: from shooting his first film entirely on an iPhone to having his work screened multiple times at Cannes (even if he is unable to attend the festival). Xolalpa’s interview is split into themes of refusal and of recognition—a refusal to live by the labels of the media and government, based on a status left entirely out of his control; and a recognition of the abundance of joy and creativity that Jorge brings to the world around him.
Alix Dick: What does America mean to you?
Jorge Xolalpa: Right now, it means disappointment. When I came here 24 years ago, America gave me the sense of the American Dream. Throughout the years, as our government keeps going backwards, the only thing I can think about is how disappointing it is. I still love this country, but I am constantly losing faith. That's what it means to me now. I know that my life and my career and everything that I do represent the American Dream for my parents, but for me, America represents disappointment at this point in life.
AD: That makes me so sad because it's exactly how I feel.
JX: It's the truth.
AD: It's such a hard feeling because there is so much love and hate and disappointment at the same time.
JX: It's like a toxic relationship.
AD: Oh my gosh, yes! That's how I describe it. Thinking about the costs of this toxic relationship, what has your immigration status in this country cost you? If DACA is not renewed, what new costs might you face?
JX: Here's the thing: very early on when I came to this country, I knew I was undocumented. I didn't have that story, like other people, where I go to get a driver’s license and find out I am undocumented. I literally knew when I arrived that I was on a temporary visa and, eventually, I was going to be undocumented. I was nine years old. So as a child, I worked hard to get in that mindset of knowing this was going to be a struggle. Looking ahead, my mental health will go downhill. But I've been undocumented before. I'm still undocumented. I don't allow a piece of paper to define my identity.
I've been undocumented before. I'm still undocumented. I don't allow a piece of paper to define my identity.
I'm more than my undocumented status. I'm a film director. I'm a human being who loves. I am a son. I am a brother. I'm someone's child and, with or without papers, I'm going to continue moving forward. I don't like to give it so much power.
AD: So you have hope for the future regardless of if you-
JX: No! No, no, no. Not for the future. For myself.
AD: I relate to that. I don't have that much hope for the system to change, but it seems like you have faith that you are going to be fine regardless. You have so much to offer and you have been doing this with or without DACA, right?
JX: Yep. It's all about staying faithful to yourself. I think about it every day, but I can't concentrate on the things that I can't control. I'm tired of people looking at me like I'm a victim or like I'm suffering. I've done so much in the last 10 years of my life. It would be really, really disappointing if I said, "Oh, I can't because I just don't have a paper anymore." That's not who I am. That wouldn't be authentic to myself. That would mean losing complete self-respect. I owe my younger self the chance to continue moving forward.
And you know what? This interview is happening at a moment in my life where I really want to say “eff it” because my advance parole1 got denied on Thursday. So I won't be able to go to Cannes for my film. I can't go, and I am making the choice of not talking about DACA anymore.
AD: I didn't know that.
JX: Nobody knows because I usually talk more publicly about this. I will call the press. But this time, I don't care. This is the third time this has happened. I did my best. There's a reason why the universe doesn't want me to get advance parole and I'm going to respect that.
When people say that the sky's the limit, that's why I wanted to be a pilot. But now, as a filmmaker, I’ve reached the fucking stars.
AD: I love that nothing stops you. What is something that is giving you hope right now?
JX: My future self. I've accomplished so much. I don't want to sound like a broken record, but sometimes I'll sit down and I look at my timeline of things that I've done and I go, "Wow, wow." I don't know how I do it!” Then I remember I do it because the 8-year-old Jorge wanted that. I remember I wanted to be a pilot and a teacher told me, "Well, you can't be a pilot because you wear glasses." Then when I moved to the US, I found out that I could do eye surgery. So I was like, "Well, I'm going to get surgery, I'm going to be a pilot." Then, later, I found out I couldn’t get the surgery because I was undocumented. So what did I do? I chose a completely different route and now I'm where I am now. I'm making films, I'm a working filmmaker. When people say that the sky's the limit, that's why I wanted to be a pilot. But now, as a filmmaker, I’ve reached the fucking stars.
I have this … not a ritual … but I have this thing where I'll talk to my younger self in my head where he's asking me, "Do we get to fly? Do we get to go to the stars?" And I'm like, "Listen, we get to work with them and we get to create our own universe." That's what keeps me going.
AD: That's so beautiful.
JX: It's the truth. I mean, just this morning I got my next film financed. I just finished a film and I already got my next film financed! I'm doing my eighth film. I'm in a place where God wants me to be. Con Dios todo, sin el nada. With him, everything. Without him, nothing.
AD: I think we sometimes forget that when life has something to give you, you might not feel ready. But God is going to give you everything you need in order for you to do it.
JX: Life will sometimes take away things that you really want and you will later realize that that's what needed to happen. There are success stories in those losses, too.
Propina
If you haven’t had the opportunity to spend time with Jorge Xolalpa’s films, do yourself a favor and correct that situation. You can stream Valentina on Apple TV.
Programming note: we are planning for something short and a bit different for next week’s installment of La Cuenta. In the meantime, please reach out with any questions. As always, if you have any interest in contributing, please let us know!
This is AMAZING!!